Stone's throw
by magic207
Summary: After a party organised by Morgana, Arthur and Merlin have to deal with some new insights.


_**I don't own them.**_

_**This Arthur character has been a bit stubborn in this story. Slightly OOC I fear. He just wouldn't behave himself. I'm sorry.**_

**It is the merriest party Camelot had seen in years. Nobody admits that this fact might be connected with Uther's absence due to a visit to the northern border on some diplomatic errand.**

**Morgana has organised it, and she did a splendid job. Music, food and drink (and plenty of it), decorations, the right number of guests, not too few and not too many, some drinking games to get it started, it is all perfect. The atmosphere is sparkling.**

**And now she has a special highlight. **

**She had been very secretive about it, and now it becomes obvious why, it's a magic game.**

**Nothing dangerous, she assures everyone, just a little gimmick. She has before used it at a party in Canterbury a few months back, and it was such fun.**

**So she puts the magic stone into a small room next to the great hall, where usually the jesters or dancers or whatever entertainers the king enjoys, change and leave their gear.**

**The party-crowd decides which two people should go in, then these are to kiss whilst they touch the stone, and the stone will start to glow. By the intensity and colour of the stone glow you can read the amount of love and passion of the two candidates. **

**It is brilliant. They have been at it for nearly two hours now and still there are plenty of couples to be thrown in the room together, although these constellations get stranger by the minute.**

**Merlin has already been in there four times, which means an increase of kissing experience by 200%, the last time even with Morgana. The glow has been brighter than expected.**

**The only one who doesn't seem to enjoy himself is Arthur the Crown Prat. Merlin has a suspicion it has to do with the fact that none of the dozen kisses he bestowed brought on an impressive glow. Each of Merlin's were brighter. That must sting the oversized royal ego.**

**And of course you can always count on Morgana to make things worse. **

"**Arthur you see, when we kissed, it glowed like a glow-worm at most. But with Merlin it goes like a torch. Your manservant kisses better than you."**

**Arthur keeps his countenance.**

"**Morgana, that might be due to the amount of alcohol you had been drinking since. If we were to try again I set it on fire."**

**Truth is, Arthur and Morgana had been the very first to go, as the obvious couple, and since then her cheeks have become more and more red.**

"**As I explained before, you can't go twice with the same partner. But there are a few other girls that can compare the two of you after tonight's experiences…"**

**Oh no, that is going too far. Merlin doesn't want his prince to be humiliated. Not by anyone but himself anyways. So he thinks of a way that will definitely catch the attention of the crowd.**

"**I propose Morgana and Gwen as the next couple."**

**Everybody, especially the guys cheer at this suggestion. Morgana blushes deeply and thankfully shuts up.**

**Gwen looks rather uncomfortably and Merlin feels very sorry for her, but Arthur looks at him and says "Idiot", which means 'Thank you', so that's alright.**

**When Morgana and Gwen come out again, the stone has a sweet pink shade and glows quite a lot. Morgana seems embarrassed, but Gwen has a big grin on her face. Several other girl-on-girl couples are elected, but none of them has the same effect.**

**And then Morgana has recovered from her blush and seeks revenge.**

"**It's hardly fair if the girls get all the fun. I challenge Arthur to go in with a man of his choice."**

**Everyone is rather unsure how to react to this and Arthur finds himself stared at by the entire party. No way for him to get out of this.**

**He doesn't blush, he only starts to sweat a tiny bit. He looks around, maybe he is trying to figure out who he can pick without it having any diplomatic or politic after-effects.**

**Merlin tries to hide behind a lady with large hair, but to no avail.**

"**Well I heard my useless manservant has quite a kiss to brag about. Come on, Merlin, let me experience that. If you can manage without actually hitting a tooth out or something."**

**Arthur had years of training to deal with uncomfortable situations. Merlin too in a different way. So he puts a grin on an strolls into the chamber after Arthur.**

**As soon as the door is shut they face each other.**

"**We could just not do anything and say there is not enough passion to ignite anything." Merlin suggests after a moment.**

"**Percival tried that when he had to kiss his own cousin, remember? Morgana didn't believe him and made him do it anyway- It did glow a little bit."**

**Arthur looks a little smug.**

"**You know this is your fault, don't you."Of course he would think that.**

"**Oh, and how did you work that one out?"**

"**Well you started this homo-erotic stuff with Morgana and Gwen."**

**Merlin knows better than to remind Arthur why he started that.**

"**Well, let's just get it over with, ok?"**

**And with that he puts one hand on the stone, waits till Arthur hesitatingly does the same, and leans towards the prince to give him a peck on the lips.**

**The stone just flickers. But Arthur shivers.**

**They stare at the stone again which has gone out again.**

"**I guess that wasn't enough" Merlin points out**

"**Well it was a very sorry excuse of a kiss. I don't know what Morgana was talking about." Arthur is in a foul mood. Merlin gets defensive. "I didn't try, did I. And you weren't helping." **

"**I didn't have the chance to help, it was shorter than a monk's fart."**

"**Why is a monk's fart supposed to be short?"**

"**I have no idea, it's a phrase."**

"**It's stupid."**

"**Ok then, focus. I guess I have to do it properly because you are useless, as always."**

**Arthur hesitates for a moment, then he seems to come to a decision. He grips Merlin at his neckerchief and pulls him in slowly. His kiss is bruising and desperate and nothing like anything that Merlin has experienced ever. A feeling rather similar to magic rolls through his body and has him cling to Arthur's neck and kiss back just as ferociously, pulling him even closer. His lips hurt and his knees shake and it is all very unexpected and fantastic.**

**And then the prince stops. They stand there, breathing heavily and look at each other.**

**Merlin breaks the silence. "I don't know what Morgana is talking about either. That was the best kiss ever."**

**He wouldn't be so honest if he wasn't so stunned.**

**Arthur seems really happy with the compliment.**

**Then they simultaneously remember the stone. It doesn't glow at all.**

"**We didn't touch it." Merlin points out. **

**Arthur just stares at him.**

"**We have to do it again." Merlin clarifies and puts his hand demonstrative on the stone.**

**Arthur looks at Merlin's lips and licks his own. The sight of that electrifies Merlin. "Touch the stone, sire." he orders. **

**Arthur slowly reaches towards the stone and Merlin's hand. Their fingers entwine over the cold device, and they both look at their hands. **

**This time Merlin takes the initiative. He cups Arthur's cheek and slowly moves in. Just half an inch before their lips touch he pauses, trying to compose himself, reminding himself of who is there next to him. It doesn't help, breathing in Arthur's scent turns him on even more. So when he kisses the prince it's heavy and wet. They both have their mouths open from the start and Arthur's tongue invades Merlin's mouth as soon as the sorcerer touches him. **

**Merlin's hand moves around Arthur's shoulders on it's own account, and Arthur grips Merlin around the waist and brings their bodies together. When their hips meet they can both feel the arousing effect they have on each other. Merlin can feel his magic rise to the surface. He fights it. The prince actually gasps loudly when Merlin moves his thigh between the other's legs. With the gasp, Arthur pulls out his tongue that had been mapping out Merlin's mouth and Merlin takes his chance and starts his own explorations. **

**Just when he is sucking Arthur's bottom lip in his mouth, whilst Arthur's hand is travelling downwards, there is a knock on the door.**

**They both realise that they had been inside the chamber much longer, much much longer than anybody else. And they realise that the stone is glowing in a rich red and as bright as a town fire. As if both their erections weren't enough of a hint for the crowd. They can hear them laughing and cheering outside.**

"**Bugger" Merlin says and blushes right away. Wrong thing to say right now…**

**Luckily Arthur is a leader in difficult situations and takes charge.**

"**Right. Adjust your breeches. Smooth you hair. We have to dim that thing a bit."He pours some water out of a jug over it, which helps nothing of course, but Merlin takes it as an opportunity to work on it with a bit of magic. He can't really undo anything but he can prolong it. The next couple is in for a last look at each other, one deep breath and Arthur opens the door.**

**The whole party awaits them. Arthur puts on a smug grin that doesn't reach his eyes.**

"**Well, who is next?" he tries to play it down.**

"**What on earth took you so long in there?" Morgana is far too thrilled to let this opportunity go.**

"**You see, Merlin's education is in my charge, I had to teach him a couple of things." He is a king's son, after all. He can act.**

**Merlin finds it less suspicious if he gives back.**

"**You said it yourself, Morgana, if anybody could teach something, it would be me. Now Arthur might have a chance to impress a girl…"**

"**Idiot"**

"**Prat"**

**The crowd loses interest. They have witnessed this bickering between prince and manservant often enough.**

**Morgana is still suspicious, but the light of the stone is somewhat dim and nondescriptive. **

**Merlin and Arthur both go to the back and get a drink. Side by side they silently watch Sir Gawain and a plain daughter of some obscure lord discover their undying love and grave passion for each other with rather great surprise.**

**That night Arthur informs Merlin, that he wouldn't require his services in his chambers for today. Merlin is thankful for the thinking time. Arthur excuses himself soon after and Merlin lingers a bit longer at the Party, watching the increasingly drunk nobles, trying to figure out what had happened. That is rather easy, they kissed, and looking back Merlin can see the pent up passion between them over the last few months. Every banter some form of foreplay. His hazy mind drifts off to what they could do instead of arguing. It is enticing. He can picture it amazingly easily, being Arthur's manservant, he has seen the prince bathe and change clothes and sleep, there isn't much left to his imagination. And Arthur has every right to be proud and arrogant when it comes to his physique. **

**But. Merlin pulls himself together. But. **

**They have a future together. A long future, a destiny, that should last a lifetime. **

**Merlin isn't stupid, he doesn't think for one second that they would love each other forever after, that even if it shouldn't be a one time thing, which is also possible, it would burn over after some time. **

**And then. They would both be hurt. One more than the other. Probably Merlin more than Arthur, as at some time there has to be a queen and an heir, but maybe even Arthur would be the one hurting more. Arthur isn't used to open up, he's more vulnerable. **

**Their friendship is in danger. And their friendship is the foundation of their destiny. **

**Plus there is the matter of Merlin's magic. He's already feeling incredibly guilty that he hasn't told his friend, but as a lover Arthur would have even more right to know. Apart from the fact that he would find out anyway probably, arousal and hiding magic don't go well together, as Merlin had found out back in Ealdor.**

**The risk is too great.**

**With that Merlin is done thinking. It won't even be that different, his whole life evolves around Arthur, now it will be his erotic dreams as well. For a while. It will pass. It will.**

**Merlin returns to his room after saying goodnight to Gwen and Morgana, the latter really inebriated and leaning into Merlin closely to reassure him again that he was an incredibly capable kisser and that Arthur was a tosser. Merlin agrees heartily on both points and leaves. Just before he falls asleep he has a brief panic attack about the next morning and how he and Arthur would have that awkward conversation about the kissing, but then he remembers that it's Arthur and that they wouldn't talk about it really. Ever. And with that comforting thought he falls asleep.**

**When Merlin comes to his prince's chambers the next morning, only slightly late, Arthur is already up. He sits on the edge of his bed, already fully clothed, and he isn't even scolding Merlin for the delay. He watches his servant closely whilst Merlin prepares breakfast. **

'**Merlin' he says after a while, 'we are going to talk about the kissing now.'**

**Of course. Trust Arthur to complicate things. It would have been to good to be true.**

'**Right.' says Merlin and sighs. And sits down at the table. Arthur strolls over and sits down next to him.**

'**So.' the prince starts, whilst Merlin graps an apple to have something to look at.**

'**We kissed.'**

'**Yep. Three times.' Merlin observes helpfully, and takes a bite.**

'**Two times, that first poor excuse of a peck doesn't count'**

'**Does so!'**

'**Doesn't.'**

'**Does. Our lips touched, that's the definition of a kiss.'**

'**No that's not the… Oh for heaven's sake, I'm not arguing about that.'**

'**But you are!'**

'**Merlin shut up.'**

**There is a silence, Merlin chewing his apple without tasting it and looking anywhere but Arthur.**

'**Well it's pretty obvious how we will deal with the situation.' The prince continues after a while.**

'**Yes, absolutely obvious, if you think about it.' Merlin agrees. So maybe this will be easy after all.**

'**Right. I inform you right away, that I will not bottom.' Oh. Maybe not so easy then. Merlin turns to Arthur in shock. **

'**At least not in the foreseeable future. Maybe one day. But I will not admit to that ever. First you will be the one with the cock up the arse. For the foreseeable future.'**

**Arthur looks incredibly calm and royal. And serious, with a predatory glint in his eyes. Merlin is pretty sure that he is not joking.**

'**And I also inform you that I will probably be slightly obsessed with your neck. I have had dreams about that for months now. Good that you wear those silly neckerchiefs. I hope you do not object to biting?' **

**And he actually expects Merlin to answer that, at least he keeps looking at him with one eyebrow up. Very calmly. Merlin tries to say something, but somehow his voice has left him. He just stares.**

**Arthur then finally seems to comprehend that Merlin isn't quite on the same page. **

'**Merlin' he leans in. Closely. 'Are you a virgin?'**

**WHAT? **

'**Are you untouched?' Arthur is very close now and that's not helping, so Merlin just nods. And wants to say that this is not the point, that there are reasons why Arthur should pull back immediately, good reasons, and Merlin will remember them any minute now…**

'**So I will be the first' Arthur drawls. 'The first to touch you. The first to show you. The first to do this -' And he starts sucking Merlin's neck, just underneath his jaw. Merlin shudders and inadvertently clutches Arthur's tunic.**

'**Don't be scared. I will be gentle.' Arthur's mouth moves up to Merlin's ear. 'Gentle as long as you want me to.' He bites the shell. 'But I'm positive you will be begging for me to go harder rather soon.' It's no more than a whisper and Merlin makes a ridiculous little noise. Arthur takes that as an invitation and slides off his chair to his knees between Merlin's legs.**

'**Trust me, Merlin' and he moves in for the kiss, but the last words have sobered Merlin up. Trust. That's the reason.**

**He puts his hands on Arthur's shoulders and stops him.**

'**I'd like you to be the first. All of that' **

**Arthur seems to pick up the sadness in Merlin's voice because he actually stops.**

'**But even more than that I'd like to stay your friend. You are my best friend, and I will be your servant for the rest of my life, and I couldn't handle to be even more for a while and then…'**

**Only a prince can kneel on the floor in front of another man, look up at him whilst being rejected, without any trace of humiliation. Arthur looks calm, composed, not even angry. **

**Merlin carefully brushes a thump across Arthur's lips and whispers 'do you understand, sire?'**

**Arthur looks at him for a while. 'I do' he says finally, and it sounds like a pledge. Then the prince rises suddenly and pulls Merlin up with him. They are standing awfully close.**

'**But you should understand something as well.' Arthur says, and his voice is so regal that Merlin squirms,**

'**This will not go away. I don't care about glowing stones or two or three kisses, but I have been thinking for a while now about where the two of us are heading. You ARE my friend and my servant, forever, and you will be more.'**

**And with that he sits down and starts eating. **

**Prat.**

**And thus starts the slow and painful journey of Merlin into madness.**

**Arthur is just himself. He is a prat and sometimes he has those brilliant moments that brighten up the whole world. He argues with Merlin all the time, but now that Merlin has thought about it as foreplay it's not the same anymore. **

**He looks at Merlin quite often, watches him at work, turns to him after a victory in a sword fight on the training ground with a smile, searches for his eyes at court when he has to make a decision, grins at him when some noble at court holds a ridiculous speech. And Merlin knows, he is not doing anything differently to before. It had been like that for months. It just feels differently.**

**Also the touching feels differently. As his manservant, Merlin has to touch Arthur occasionally. Whilst dressing, when he brushes some dust off his vest, or when he passes him one million things per day, their fingers touch sometimes. It drives Merlin insane. **

**Arthur has always been physical in his attention, he claps shoulders, hits around heads, nudges elbows. Even more so with Merlin, he has his arm around his servants shoulder when they leave the training ground, his hand on the back of his neck when Merlin does his boots up, his knee touching Merlin's thigh when they are sitting next to each other. Like always. **

**Only now Merlin notices Arthur's eyes, shiny with want.**

**Merlin feels helpless. He is convinced that Arthur is wrong, he is so sure that they should stay clear of sex, he is simply scared to the bones. Not of the sex. He could cope with the sex. Easily. He longs for the sex.**

**He is scared shitless of the consequences.**

**One night, when he attends to Arthur after a long and tiring feast, Arthur seems lost in thought.**

'**You keep me waiting longer than I expected, Merlin.'**

**Merlin keeps himself busy with moving things around, not really knowing what he has in his hands.**

'**You should just stop waiting, sire'**

**Arthur graps his hand and pulls him close.**

'**Should I now.'**

**Merlin feels himself turning bright red.**

'**Arthur, that's not what I mean.' And with great self control he pulls his hand away.**

'**You want me. I know that. You want me, don't you, Merlin?' And suddenly the prince doesn't seem that arrogant anymore, but insecure. Merlin wants to point out that it is stupid to ask him that and that this is besides the point and Merlin would be stupid to answer that because it would only encourage Arthur.'Yes. I do.' He says anyways.**

'**Good. I keep waiting. You may leave now, unless you want to stay…' Arthur drapes himself suggestively on the bed.'Good night, prat.'**

'**Good night, my idiot.'**

**Merlin is in a constant state of inner goo. He can't concentrate when he is not around Arthur and he can concentrate even less when he is. Red is the normal colour of his face by now and he makes mistakes, that are even more barmy than normally. One day, when he returns to Morgana's chambers to swap Arthur's boots he had left there for the potion from Gaius he was supposed to leave, he gets trapped. Morgana sits next to the boots, and before Merlin can grab them, she drapes her dress over them. Merlin is far too scared of women and this one in particular than to dive for them.**

'**Merlin, are you in love?' Morgana's voice is silky. **

'**No, my lady, I just want those boots, don't take it personally.'**

'**I know it's not with me.'**

'**Gwen and I are just friends…'**

'**We know that, too.' Gwen's voice comes from the door, which she is closing with determination.**

'**We watched you. We think you are in love with Arthur.' Morgana again. She is scary when she is angry, but this calm predatory approach is pure terror.**

'**You might feel better if you tell us. It helps to talk.' Gwen's sweetness is a bit scary as well apparently. **

'**Something happened at the party, didn't it' says Morgana.**

'**You are so sweet and we know there is has been something for ages.' says Gwen.**

'**We think you just realised it when you kissed at that game.' says Morgana.**

**Merlin doesn't have a chance, he knows that. Girls now things. He caves in.**

'**I don't know what it is. I don't want to know. I want it to stop. It is wrong. And dangerous.'Girls know how to ask the right questions. It doesn't take long at all until they have everything out of Merlin, and he has the impression that he gave them even more than he is aware of. Everything but the magic bit of course.**

**He doesn't mind to tell Gwen, she is a friend, and if he told Gwen, Morgana would know as well, so it doesn't matter in the end.**

**Afterwards there is a long companionable silence. **

'**I hate to say it, but I am actually impressed with Arthur.' Morgana says eventually. **

'**He behaves the perfect gentleman. But not only that, he shows great determination and foresight. If you ever refer to my saying that I'll have your head.' she adds casually.**

'**It doesn't matter. It is wrong.'**

'**Merlin, you will both be hurting about the queen and heir thing no matter if you have sex or not.' Gwen blurts out.**

'**But I might loose my friend.'**

**There is absolutely nothing to say to that.**

'**Any advice here? Please?'**

'**Arthur, when he is this determined, will not easily be distracted. Maybe a fake lover?'**

**Merlin squirms at that thought. **

'**Do you think that will save our friendship?'**

'**Whoever would play the fake lover would need saving. I hope you weren't thinking about me." Gwen puts in.**

**They think in silence.**

"**Well" Morgana tries to sound cheerful, "you will just have to fend him off until he looses interest."**

**She gets up and Merlin understands that the heart to heart time is over.**

"**Good luck, Merlin" Gwen says with a sweet smile and a lot of compassion.**

**When Merlin has closed the door and lingers for a moment in the hallway to breath he hears Morgana.**

"**I give him a week."**

"**I give him less. He's a boy." Gwen answers.**

**So Merlin does the only sensible thing. He goes into hiding. **

**He tells Gaius he's ill, and when the old physician looks somewhat doubtful at him, he mentions magical problems and that does the trick. Gaius agrees to pass on to Arthur that his manservant will be unavailable for a couple of days. At least.**

**Merlin goes into his room and shuts the door. It had been a brilliant idea, he is sure. He doesn't get to see Arthur and Arthur doesn't get to see him. They will both cool off and then things might be easier. Maybe Arthur will have met somebody else by then to concentrate on. That thought hurts, but only a little, because Merlin doesn't really believe that Arthur is that shallow.**

**The downside of the hiding-idea is that Merlin has a lot of time on his hands. And his hands are idle, and so are his thoughts. He tries to busy himself by reading books, on magic or disgusting illnesses, and practising magic when Gaius is out. But still, idle thoughts, idle hands. By the evening of the next day his cock is a little sore, and his brain feels sore too from the constant battle he keeps loosing, the battle NOT TO THINK OF ARTHUR. Especially not when wanking.**

**On the second morning of his 'illness' Arthur comes to visit. He comes in just a moment after the physician left, who might have been able to send him away again. Maybe he waited until Gaius left towards the market.**

**Merlin sits at the table, not quite finished with his breakfast.**

'**So' the prince starts, 'You don't look ill.'**

**Merlin stares at him like a hypnotised rabbit.**

'**You look pretty well rested actually. I'm glad you're having such a nice little rest.'**

'**Sire I AM ill. Seriously. It's actually contagious, so you might want to stay away…'**

'**Well I don't want to stay away. That's the whole point of your holiday, isn't it?'**

**Where have the times gone when they never talked about anything really?**

'**Arthur, I just thought it might be good for us to get some break.'**

'**Good? And did it? Do any good I mean?'**

**Now Merlin takes a closer look at Arthur. He is the one who looks ill. He has black lines under his eyes and is very pale. **

'**Maybe not' he whispers.**

**Arthur is close to him in two large steps.**

'**Merlin, will you let me now?'**

**Merlin jumps up and puts some space between them.**

'**I told you I think that a bad idea. I explained.'**

'**You said that us being friends is important and yes it is, you are the first friend I ever had in my life, don't you think I value that? But this is more than friendship, no matter what you decide you want it to be, and whatever it is, it is painful when we are apart.'**

**It occurs to Merlin that, whatever it is they had until now, it won't ever be the same. Not with all this said aloud. Not after Arthur had opened up so much. **

'**Please, just make me understand. I know you like me the same way as I you. I know there is something else than the matter of friendship.'**

**The prince has never before shown such insight. Why now? Why?**

'**Did I scare you? Are you scared of sex? I could understand that. I have never been with a man either. I promise we go slowly. All the time you need. I'd be happy to hold your hand for the first weeks. Years, if need be.'**

**Merlin lets Arthur come closer, his heart is aching for the pain in his prince.**

'**Is it morally? Because we're both men? Is it that, Merlin?'**

**Another few steps.**

'**No, it's not that.'**

'**What then. Tell me, Merlin, why do you resist?'**

**Something in that question makes Merlin stroppy.**

'**So I need a good reason to resist a crown prince. Has that happened to you before, that maybe somebody just didn't want you?'**

'**Are you saying that you don't want me? Because I have a hard time believing that.'**

**And with that Arthur has Merlin pinned against the door towards Merlin's room, without touching him, just by sheer presence. **

'**Or is it a test? A trial for how long I last? I won't ever force you, Merlin, you must know that!'**

**Arthur is now so close they are almost touching each other.**

'**Or is it that you want me to? Is that your kink? Merlin, we can try out anything you want, but first I need you consent. The first time, it should be without games. I couldn't live with the doubt.'**

**Maybe Arthur has a point about the kink. Or maybe it is the fact that he has put so much consideration into this. Merlin refuses to think about what has him so turned on, instead he clings to his anger.**

'**Just drop it, you arrogant prat, it's not going to happen. Ever. You have no idea would you are dealing with. Trust me, it's not worth it.'**

'**Oh but it is.' Arthur finally touches Merlin, he slides a hand into Merlin's hair and holds him firm.**

'**Let me find out what I'm dealing with' and with that he kisses Merlin.**

**Merlin is helpless. He throws himself into the kiss, opens up his mouth and his heart and kisses Arthur back with equal ferocity and hunger. When he feels his magic flaring, he doesn't even attempt to control it. Arthur said he wanted to find out what he was dealing with.**

**Things happen. Merlin doesn't know exactly what his magic is doing and he doesn't care. This kiss is the only thing he'll get.**

**Arthur ignores all the noises and the strange winds until something hits a wall with a loud bang.**

**Then he looks around the havocked room briefly until he faces Merlin again, who is breathless and sweaty and still golden eyed. **

**He doesn't pull away immediately, he stares at Merlin from as close as he is, strangely reluctant to move.**

'**Now that you know what you are dealing with, do you see that this can't ever happen between us? Sire?'**

**Arthur trembles a little and slowly disentangles his hand from Merlin's hair.**

'**Yes. I can see that now. I understand.'**

**Not exactly what Merlin had anticipated as an answer. He feels very cold without Arthur's body heat but tries to focus on the fact that he is still alive and Arthur hasn't arrested him yet. **

'**I'm so sorry Arthur. I swear I'd never meant any harm with my magic. Please, don't have me killed. Please let me stay. I have to stay your manservant, there is destiny and stuff…'**

**The prince stands for a moment staring at the floor and then he pulls himself together. He straightens and becomes his court persona. **

'**I won't mention any of this again and I hope you will do the same. Your secret is safe. You are dismissed for the day but I expect you back to your duties by tomorrow.'**

**Merlin can only nod. This is nothing like he has anticipated. **

**Arthur moves to the door, just before he opens it he turns around and looks Merlin in the eyes.**

'**I'm sorry' he says very quietly, so that Merlin can hardly hear it, but he can read it all over Arthur's face.**

**The next days go by as if Merlin saw them in a play. He and Arthur act the parts of perfect prince and perfect manservant. **

**Merlin doesn't know how to interact with Arthur otherwise. He is dimly aware that opposed to Arthur, who has been raised to treat his servants exactly as he is treating Merlin now, for Merlin himself it is highly unusual to follow orders without questioning them. He'd probably appreciate the irony more if he wouldn't feel so empty.**

**Actually everything is good, he tries to convince himself. Arthur knows, he didn't kill or exile Merlin, they coexist peacefully, and he is still or even more in the position to protect the prince. **

**The sex thing had never been a good idea, they will both move on and maybe one day it will be less awkward between them. Maybe even be more than not awkward. Maybe. **

**Two months pass in this way, it does get a very little less awkward. But it never becomes as it was before.**

**Merlin doesn't move on. Neither seems Arthur to, he is still very withdrawn behind his Crown Prince mask. Merlin is worried about him, but as he still hasn't figured out where they stand, he doesn't dare to try and help.**

**Morgana and Gwen try and help, they talk to Merlin and try to get Arthur out of his shell, but to no avail. **

**Arthur is true to his word, Merlin's secret is safe, probably safer than ever. Even when Arthur walks in on Merlin whilst he is using magic to tidy Arthur's laundry into his wardrobe one day, he just shakes his head unbelievingly and shuts the door again firmly. Merlin is quite sure he even caught glimpse of a smirk. **

**Then comes a wedding. Sir Gawain actually marries the obscure daughter he has kissed that night with the stone, and apparently sometimes it is enough to believe yourself in love to make a relationship work.**

**If he wouldn't feel so empty, Merlin would probably appreciate the irony of this more, too.**

**Gawain is a highly regarded knight, so the wedding is lush. Lots of food, lots of guests, splendid décor, and continual bliss made the plain woman a very pretty bride. Gawain is euphoric.**

**Merlin feels awful. He doesn't begrudge the couple of their happiness, but it still feels as if this happiness should actually be his and Arthur's. It was their kiss that started it after all.**

**Arthur isn't too chipper either. Of course he performs well, but Merlin knows him well enough to see that his amusement is fake. **

**At some point in the late evening, Gawain asks his liege for a toast. Most people are drunk enough to roar more encouragement to that request than they would normally dare to. Arthur is compelled to comply.**

**He stands up stiffly and raises his cup. Merlin feels dearly for him, and moves behind him, even though there is nothing he can do to help. **

'**Today we have seen the grand Knight Sir Gawain wed a beautiful maiden. It's a connection, though not without benefits for both their families, that was forged purely out of love. We all agree that this is something wonderful. And quite a miracle.'**

**The crowd is ready to raise their cups to that but the prince isn't finished.**

'**Not only have you both met the person you can imagine to spend the rest of your life with, the person you want around you every day, to share every aspect of your life, but also this person happens to reciprocate and is also available. You don't have to know this person and live with the fact that you will never be able to act, for reasons out of your control, like status, age, politics.'**

**Something is a bit off about this speech. Merlin realises that. He is pretty sure Arthur isn't drunk, he barely finished his second cup of wine. He can't see Arthur's face, but his voice sounds a bit lost.**

'**Or because your families make a match impossible. Maybe because of a long going vendetta, something one of your family has done to the other, which can't ever be forgiven. It would be a miracle if she could still be in the same room with you, Gawain, if your ancestors had spent decades of hunting down and killing everybody of her kin, but she would never let you touch her. '**

**And then it begins to dawn on Merlin. He begins to understand Arthur. It's not that Arthur can't forgive Merlin for being magic. **

**He thinks Merlin cannot forgive Arthur for being a Pendragon.**

**The whole aggregation is slightly irritated, most of them too drunk to deduct anything from the princes words, but aware that the speech isn't about Gawain and his bride anymore. The confusion is only increased by the big, goofy, inappropriate happy grin on Arthur's manservant's face standing behind him.**

**The prince collects himself for a moment and finishes his toast in a more common fashion and slumps back down on his seat.**

**Merlin grins a while longer, until he notices that Arthur looks utterly unhappy and doesn't know yet that he is the even bigger idiot. He catches the eyes of both Morgana and Gwen, both of them smiling encouraging, one of them slightly more sly than the other.**

**Merlin gathers his courage and steps closer to Arthur behind his chair.**

'**I don't object to biting.'**

**Arthur startles a bit.**

'**What?'**

'**I don't object to you biting my neck. I've been thinking about it for a long while now and I think I will like it. And you are right, I don't want you to be too gentle.'**

**Arthur sits very straight now and starts sweating a bit.**

'**Merlin, if this is your idea of a joke…'**

'**I'm just responding to what you said, sire. Admittedly, with some delay, but that is your fault with misjudging my character and thinking I would be angry with you for something somebody else did to somebody else.'**

'**You're not? But my father…'**

'**I don't want your father. I want you. I want you naked and sweaty and rough. I want to have bruises and I want to ache the whole day knowing it was you and that you ache too. I want to touch and kiss and lick and bite every place on your body. I think I might become a bit obsessed with the licking. I have spent hours recently, just fantasising about my tongue on your skin.'**

**Arthur has the armrests of his chair gripped and looks straight ahead, panting slightly. Merlin just can't stop.**

'**I want to know how you taste, Arthur, if the skin on your throat tastes like the skin on your thigh. I want to lick your chest, your hips, your balls, your arse. I want to run my tongue down your cock just before I try to take it all in my mouth. I want to find out if I recognise your smell in the taste of your cum.' Merlin is too turned on by now to be more than dimly aware of the surrounding crowds, he doesn't even care if he and Arthur are discreet enough right now or if they are making a spectacle of themselves.**

'**There is only one thing I don't agree with.'**

**And with that he finally leans in a bit closer, still not touching the prince.'You will bottom, too.' he whispers.**

'**Right. That's enough. I wish to retire to my rooms now. Attend to me, Merlin.'**

**Later Merlin has no memories whatsoever of the walk from the hall to Arthur's chambers. But he does remember how Arthur turned towards him once the door was shut and locked and looked at him all insecure and horny and beautiful. He remembers how they both took two steps towards each other and how they kissed for the first time with everything sorted. And he will always treasure the memory of Arthur when he was coming with Merlin's cock inside his arse for the first time. **

**Turns out Arthur doesn't object to bottoming after all.**


End file.
